it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
