I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
