Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
