they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
