operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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