I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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