Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
