Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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