you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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