I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
