Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
