Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
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