i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
This is the high leading the old right now
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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