She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
