Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
