in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Randomize
