if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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