Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
