Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
