no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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