Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
