I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
