there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize