Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
