smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
...so i touched it.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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