is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
