He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
