He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
