guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
