And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
time to smoke my breakfast
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
