that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
