Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
50% drunk capacity currently
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
