my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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