I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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