I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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