i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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