I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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