when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
