Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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