dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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