I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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