so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
