Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
