My hand turned me down
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just invented taco cereal.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
