.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
false alarm, still single
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