Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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