"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
