I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
