you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
soo... how was my night?
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