Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'd cum for enchiladas.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
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