you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
