So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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