My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Randomize
