since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
