So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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