I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize