I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
