You don't have asthma, your pregnant
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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