hell yes lets make some ravioli
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
